Well, we are just past the holidays and many of you are well into making – and probably breaking – your new year’s resolutions. Unfortunately many of you are ‘actor addicts’ and after being an addict for so long, you have lost sight of what’s really good for your acting career – if you ever knew. So take it from a recovering addict, here are eight actor addictions you need to break in 2014. You’re already getting nervous, aren’t you? You’re thinking, “If you tell me to kick all these bad habits, what will I do? Don’t worry. Next time we’ll talk about what to do in their place.
#1 – Headshots
To misquote Winston Churchill, “Never was so much owed by so many to so few…photographers.” Headshots are the heroine of all actor addictions mainly because they are the center of all perceived actor power. Not getting enough auditions? New headshots. Switching agents? New Headshots. Friends working more than you? New headshots. Yes, if their pervasive use is any indication, headshots will cure just about any actor ill. Unfortunately, like the high from heroine, the one offered by actor “H” is also short-lived. Since so many actors feel so unempowered to do anything more meaningful, they really ‘light up’ the ‘pipeline’ with their pictures. They figure the more they use, the higher their career will soar but the trip is soon over when the phones don’t start ringing like you thought they would. Like many abused substances, the headshot has a rather innocent past rooted in helping. The headshot was supposed to allow casting directors to easily see which actors they know are interested in which roles. Now they are used to try to promote hordes of complete strangers, a task they were never designed to do. And as with the real “H”, overuse leads to less and less benefit and the cycle soon repeats itself. Pretty soon, you’re handing them out on the street, begging for anyone to just “Please take a look at me!” How to kick them, that is the question. Cold turkey, I say. Go on a strict diet of zero headshots for a month and see how you feel.
#2 – Breakdowns
Ah yes. The Breakdowns. They are like on-line-dating. Take it from me, as a former OLD addict, even when you find true love, it’s hard to fight the allure of ‘Your Daily Match’. You see all these roles out there that you are sure you are right for but you can’t get a date with the CD. “What’s wrong with me? I am perfect for you.” You submit over and over and over and yet nothing happens. How is it possible to submit that many times and not get an audition? Don’t worry, friend. I’m here to help. The secret to kicking both on-line-dating and breakdown addictions is…relationships. Nurture long term relationships and you will be rewarded with love – real human love.
#3 – Agents
To actors, agents can seem like salvation. They are like a Malibu rehab center. They offer an oasis of cold, calculating efficiency in a world of confusion. “If I could just get an agent, I could get over all these other addictions.” Unfortunately yet another illusion. Agents are the orphanages of lost actors. They could keep you for a long time or they could kick you out tomorrow. Some are loving and some are abusive but if you don’t know who you are and what you want from them, they can’t help you. Even if they are loving at first, if you don’t pull your weight, they will kick you to the curb. You’ll be back on the street in no time. Without the grounding of a real family, actors often stumble from agent to agent, begging to be let in. It’s right out of a Dickens Novel. “I’m sure I’ll do better this time sir!” If you think an agent is the answer to your problems, you have bigger problems than you realize.
#4 – Demo reels
When you are starting out and applying for student films and indie auditions, and submitting to every web series, you are thinking to yourself, “I am perfect for this part!” Then they ask you for your reel and you say, “Reel? What reel? I’m just starting out. How am I supposed to have a reel.” But they keep on asking and you keep on missing out on auditions so you see an ad…”Actor reels here!” Salvation! You’ll fabricate what you don’t have. You’ll piece something together. You’ll talk in front of a camera about why you like being an actor. You’ll talk about Omar, your pet Cockapoo, Heck, you’ll even film a scene in a guy’s basement and pass it off as real work. “What’s the harm in it? Who’s going to know?” “It’s all good.” You make it 15 minutes long because you love watching yourself on the screen. Why wouldn’t anyone else? You get those auditions. You book those student films. Now you are ready for the big time! Not so fast. You think you the wizard cares that you were in 47 student films? You think the fact you got 875 views on youtube makes you special? You are stuck in The Amateurville Horror. The resume you used in high school to get a job cutting grass is not the resume you use to get a job as a lawyer. That amateur stuff is meaningless to professionals. What were you thinking? Just caught up in the game? What’s worse is you lied. You fabricated your reel so it looks like you have done jobs you haven’t. Would you make up a legal case to get a job as a lawyer? If you’re so good, why don’t you just go tell someone to watch you act for two minutes? Boom! Did I just blow your mind?
#5 – Auditions
Even after people have gone through hours of acting-addiction detox on my website, the thing they keep repeating in their delirium are chants of “How do I get more auditions?” In the myopic world of the addicted actor, auditions are how one measures oneself. Auditions are an illusion. A temptation you must resist until you know how to control them. You don’t need auditions. Auditions are a dime a dozen. Fight that urge or it will consume you. You need to work – any kind of work in this business you say you want to work in. Work leads to experience and knowledge and inner peace, not to mention food. Go get a job reading scripts, making coffee, typing, answering phones. Get off the street with your hand out and try to help out. An audition scratches that itch for a little while but unless you have people who are on your side because they care about you because they know you and trust you, what makes you think they are going to hire you for their multi-million dollar project? “Hey stranger with no professional credits. Come on in and screw up my movie!” Sounds logical, doesn’t it? Only to the actor addict.
#6 – Showcases
Now we move on to mixing our pills. If you try everything else in town and can’t seem to catch a buzz anymore, don’t worry there are still a few things you can try. Fresh out of acting school? Ready to rock the world but no one seems to care? Showcases seem like a likely source of representation or dare I say…an audition? Nothing shows the needle-marks of a zippy actor like a showcase. They usually come just before the fall. “Down to your last few hundred bucks, kid? I can multiply that for you. It’s a sure thing. Industry people will be there.” Newsflash. Do you know that a lot of the money you pay to the showcase organizer might have actually gone towards paying the industry folks to show up and of course for the booze and cheese they will consume (and utter)? There is no bigger ego trip for a low level agent or casting director than to be fawned over by a bunch of recent acting grads. I should know. I have done plenty of fawning myself. So put your scrunched up bills back in your pocket and go home. There will be no paperwork produced from these other than the eviction notice when you don’t pay your rent. How to kick’em? Steer clear of anyone offering to do anything for your career for money.
#7 – Postcards
Postcards? How can you say anything bad about something I send my friends and family on vacation? I mean actors are barred from setting foot anywhere near a casting office or agency, right? You have to reach out to them somehow and they already have 20k Twitter and Facebook fans. We all learned that in our “Social Media for Actors” course, right? The only way to make them aware you exist is to send them some marketing materials. Think you’re buying a little face and mind time? Think again. I know where postcards go, so save the postage and throw them out yourself. Despite what you may have heard at the local crack house (I mean workshop), they go in the trash. How can I say such a thing? Because I threw them out. Sound cold? Do the math. Hundreds of postcards arrive from strangers announcing their participation in unheard of projects on top of the thousands of submissions already streaming in on a daily basis and what would you do with them? Even if you booked the lead in the next star wars movie no one would ever notice because you are up against the latest Malibu Community College production of the Jerry Springer musical on a 5×7 and your is only 4×6. Get it?
#8 – Workshops
This is the big leagues. Big money to play and big money for the participants. Can you say conflict of interest? This is a beautiful meeting of two addictions; actor addiction meet industry addiction. Love at first sight. They love your money! The high is clearly skewed towards the industry here. Workshops don’t sell dope. They sell hope. They seem to be the perfect solution to actor troubles. You can pay for something that seems otherwise impossible. Meet a real live casting director or agent if you just plop down some money? Why didn’t you say so? Your brain switches from active to passive mode and you immediately give up on anything that seems like work. Can’t get an audition? There’s a workshop for that. Can’t find an agent? Workshop it! For whatever ails actors there is now a workshop. Heck, there are now even workshops for student film producers and directors…seriously? Now here’s where the balloon goes, “Pop!” You realize that the hosts of these things are paid, right? You understand that if you pay someone they will tell you whatever you want to hear, right? If you have to pay, it means one of two things; either you aren’t good enough or you aren’t really trying. I’d be happy to tell you which for $10. The more of them you do, the less power you and all actors have. It’s The Matrix for actors. You think you have a life when in fact you are in a machine that feeds off you until you have nothing left to give and so you get flushed out of the system to be replaced by a new baby actor. Funny how the bad guy was called “Agent” Smith, hmmmm. Anyway, the ‘observers’ of these events have absolutely no obligation or expectation to do anything other than pad the chair they are sitting in. Think of it this way: A casting directors who does workshops might describe their job like this, “Well let’s see…I have a regular job and I have a part-time job. My regular job is being paid by producers to see actors for tv and movie roles. My part time job is at night I get paid by the actors who I won’t see during the day for roles that we filled a long time ago…or something like that.” Does that make you laugh or cry? There are two types of actors in this equation. The ones who are doing things the right way and the addicts. Which one are you?
If you suffer from one or more of these afflictions or heaven forbid, you have lots of cash and you are doing them all, please just stop. Stop all of it. It’s not helping. You may think it is because you measure your life solely on short term results and getting patted on the head because that’s what your ego and your emotions live off but what your soul needs is long term peace and growth and that can only be accomplished through a life long journey discovering your greatness. And as Glinda said to Dorothy – “You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.” You. I’m talking to you! Every single one of you out there has all the power you need to do whatever you want with your life including your acting career. You just have to take that power because no one has it but you!
Don’t worry, I won’t leave you just yet. I’m no witch. I’m a wizard. See you next time.
Leave A Reply (No comments so far)
No comments yet